Sabotage!

Like most Americans I am a part of the "Instant Gratification Society". The difference between the majority of the sufferers and myself is that I don't desire material things. My desires are of a personal nature, ones that you can't purchase or obtain easily. Therein lies my constant internal struggle: Longing for changes which ultimately I have no control over. I also have a tendency for self sabotage when I conclude that my goals cannot realistically be met. Not that I'm incapable of realistic goals, in fact the bulk of my goals are obtainable and I work diligently to accomplish them. 


When something I want becomes unobtainable, my brain processes it through my psychological immune system. My reaction usually depends on how emotionally invested I am with said subject. Regardless of it's it's realistic or not, I can either be reasonable or say, "Screw it. I don't want it anymore."

The latter process is actually known as "adaptive preference formation" and it's what we do as humans to justify failures and reduce cognitive dissonance. Dan Gilbert says that, "Our 'psychological immune system' lets us feel truly happy even when things don’t go as planned," but I completely disagree. Never once after experiencing dissonance reduction have I ever felt content. I'm usually muddled with resentment and it forces me to distance myself from the stimulus.

Affective forecasting is a terrible beast, and many cultures play off of these often hopeful expectations. You see it in Disney movies, leprechauns, and wishes given to burning balls of light. People base many decisions on affective forecasts, predictions about their emotional reactions to future events. They often display an impact bias, overestimating the intensity and duration of their emotional reactions to such events. One cause of the impact bias is focalism, the tendency to underestimate the extent to which other events will influence our thoughts and feelings(Timothy D. Wilson 2005).

This is why you get let down on your Birthday, Anniversary, or Valentines Day. Something didn't meet your expectations.  This is why I get disappointed, and this is why I won't approach things without a hazmat suit afterwards. So to hell with sabotage. You can call it my emotional conditioning.