Blameless.

The personal baggage I drag down the road stinks like a corpse rotting at the peak of summer. I cannot avoid it and it is becoming harder to lug around as time passes. When the weight becomes unbearable I can understand why people falter. The burden pulls the flesh off the bone and leaves you breathless. It's not as if you can just toss it aside or pass it off to someone else. You can't forget so you just keep moving.

Regardless of what you think we are the ones who decide our fate. We cast the stone into our lives and it will forever make ripples. You pull the trigger, drive away, but the bloodstains never leave you. You live with the undertow from this event everyday. How amusing it is when you to curse the stars for your misfortune. In the end no one gives a damn. No one is going to pity you for your bad genes or poor environment so it is always in your best interest to shut your mouth.

I may be the only person alive who actually looks forward to old age. I want to get dementia and forget my name. Forget what you've done, and what I have done. To be able to sit down and relax with no thoughts filled with hatred or sadness. No regrets--nothing horrible. The only downfall is that I'll also have nothing beautiful.

It's best to picture your life as an intermediate point between good and bad. That way if you fail you don't stumble too far, and you constantly have somewhere to advance. There will always be someone who is better looking just like there will be someone more foolish.

Nothing.

On occasion I try to purify my mind with masochism. People ask, "Why do you keep putting your hand in the fire?" Because it feels so good when I stop. We all do it from time to time. Bloodlust takes over and we swing wildly in attempt to grasp bits of glass. The more we know the more we crush ourselves. Beat the information into our skulls until we bleed and lay hopeless in the midday sun. Eventually we heal and start the process all over again. Humans are gluttons for pain and self abuse.

The night sky has a way of pacifying even the largest of egos. We are nothing but particles of sand in an infinite desert.  I am neither rare nor memorable. I am not an anomaly. How I so desire to be an exception to the rule! In a sea of beautiful women I want to be the one you see when you close your eyes. I need to resonate in your mind after a hundred years. The sensible, logical part of me realizes the fallacy and my happiness is spent. The truth cuts deep and takes no prisoners.