My new resume.

Objective: To get a fucking job. Are you a Pediatric Dentist? I can restrain those bastards. Are you a Periodontist? I can help scrape that shit off. Are you an Oral Surgeon? I will remove their nasty sutures. Are you a Prosthodontist?  I would be more than happy to gag your patients with impressions. Are you an Endodontist? Well you're in luck because I love not sleeping.   

Education and Certifications:

• Ohio Radiology Certification: Have someone that needs cancer? I can provide that shit.
• Arrhythmia recognition: Some fat ass patient going into SVT? I can point it out.
• Ohio CPR Certification: I can also revive your stupid patients.
• Chair side assisting: I know how to work sharp objects.
• The Safe and Effective use of Radiation in Dental Practice: So I don’t give everyone AIDS.       
• Medical Transcription: I can type really fucking fast.

I LOVE PUTTING A LOAN ON MY CAR TO GO TO SCHOOL AND NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND A JOB! I think this one has potential though.